Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Mommy World

I feel like I am stuck in Mommy World. There is me, Leighann. And then there is me, Mommy. And me mommy is the one who drives the minivan, watches Disney, and plays the mom role. Then there is me, Leighann, who misses her Mustang, watches MTV, blares Rap music on my way to Yoga, and wishes she could break free. I feel like I can't be myself ever. I am mommy 24/7, I never get to be the real me. I know its a choice I made when I became a mom, but I feel like I am walking on eggshells. Especially when I meet other moms. All we talk about is playdates and kids. God forbid, I mention something from my other life.
I had a talk with my mom last night, and she said I need to get out more. I have tried to find a job, but I am only available Monday - Friday 6pm-10pm. And some Sundays. I don't want to work weekends. I want to do a few days a week for a few hours. Maybe I should volunteer somewhere. Would rather work though for the money. But also in this recession, its not easy to do. So once again I am stuck.
I though the move to NC would help, but I find myself back in the same situation. I just hope that I can get over this bump in the road, and find a balance somewhere.

There...thats my rant for the day.


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